Because what is happening in the horse world today — under so many beautiful labels — is still coercive control.

It is humans deciding what the horse should do.
How they should move.
How they should perform.
How they should “show” happiness — instead of feel it.

And behind so much of this — is insecurity.
Humans needing to prove, to show, to achieve — often without ever realising what they are doing to the horse’s spirit.

I have walked this road.

I have done the “beautiful training.”
I have achieved the movements.
I have felt the pride.

And I have seen — again and again — how easy it is to break a horse’s spirit in the name of “kindness” or “leadership” or “education.”

That is not what I want.
That is not what I teach.
That is not what I stand for.

In my world, a horse never circles me because they must.

If they choose to — it is because they feel good in their body, good in their spirit, good with me.
And if they don’t — we stop.

Because forcing the circle is not conversation.
It is not joy.
It is not trust.

And it is the same with movement.

I will never force collection.
I will never ask for a piaffe — which so often is born from stress, not joy.
I will never train rearing — which damages the body and the spirit.

If a horse chooses to levade — from their own strength, their own pride, their own will — that is their gift.

If they never choose it — that is their truth.

And I honour that.

This is not about producing movements.

It is about honouring the horse.
It is about recognising that so much of what we call “training” — even in the most beautiful settings — is still coercive.
It is still about power over.
It is still about shaping the horse to suit human needs.

And there is another truth here that many do not want to face:

👉 Most horses are afraid to say no.
👉 Most horses perform because they must.
👉 Most horses comply — not because they trust — but because they have learned it is the safest way to survive the interaction.

The greatest gift you can offer a horse is this:
👉 To create a space where their “no” is welcome.

Where it is safe to decline.
Where it is safe to not perform.
Where they can show you their truth — without fear of consequence.

And when that happens — when their voice begins to return — everything changes.

What do I want to see?

Movements that are joyful — because the horse chooses them.

Adventure walks — where leadership is shared, where the horse is present, curious, expressing.

Not measured in distance or achievement — but in the depth of connection you feel together.

And for the horse who struggles — who lacks confidence — who fears leaving their companions?

I do not force them.
I honour who they are.
I meet them where they are.

Because coercing them into “improvement” would only deepen the very disconnection I seek to heal.

This is what matters:

Every interaction.
Every choice.
Every movement.

Should come from a place that enhances their well-being — physical, mental, emotional.

Not from human desire.
Not from human pride.
Not from the insecurity that needs to “achieve.”

Redefining success:

Success is not what the horse does.
It is not what they “show.”
It is not how beautiful the movement looks to others.

Success is:

👉 How the horse feels.
👉 How deeply they trust you.
👉 How safe they feel to express their truth.

And yes — this path is not easy.

It means standing against the norms of the horse world.
It means letting go of old measures of success.
It means facing parts of ourselves — our own need for control, our own insecurity — that are not comfortable to see.

But what it offers — what it gives — is more than anything you could ever achieve with a method.

When you begin to see your horse for who they really are —
When they begin to show you their spirit — their truth — their joy —

It will change everything.

For them.
And for you.

This is what we teach — in the Learn To Speak Horse course:
How to recognise coercive patterns — even in beautiful training.
How to step away from power over.
How to build relationship — not performance.

If this speaks to you — you are so welcome to explore this work with us.

It will change your horse’s experience. And it will change you.

With love,
Paulette

Explore more about this work

🌸 The Horse Knows Best

🌸 Embracing the No

🌸 Mutual Respect — What It Really Means

🌸 Truth Seeker

🌸 When Kindness Feels Like Control — to Your Horse

🌸 My Journey With Whips — What I Learned About Control

🌸 Why “Calm and Kind” Isn’t Always Listening

🌸 Beyond Obedience: Why Shaping Can Still Be Control

🌸 True Liberty vs Trained Response — Can You Tell the Difference?

🌸 What Real Leadership Looks Like for Your Horse

🌸 Offering Choice Isn’t Enough — How Our Intentions Still Shape the Horse