Growing up on a farm, a stock whip was a tool I used daily to move cows. At pony club, a whip was used to make my pony do what he was told, teaching him obedience. Transitioning to dressage, a lunge whip kept my horse circling. My intention was to build fitness and dissipate energy, trying to make him safer to ride. Sometimes, I also used lunging as a form of punishment when my horse didn’t perform under saddle as I expected. Later, in the natural horsemanship world, I became adept with a carrot stick—a stiff stick whip with an attached rope. I could make my horses do many things, even without any other tack.

Reflecting on all of these experiences, I was a dominant force. I used the whip to impose my will, to punish, and to achieve my goals. My intention with the whip was all about me. It was all about my success and control. 

Intention is crucial in everything we do. For example, when we place a bit in a horse's mouth, our intention is clear: control. Some may argue it offers refined communication, but ultimately, it's about getting the horse to do what we want. Similarly, spurs are used to make horses respond to our desires. The underlying intention mirrors the main use of the whip —control and personal achievement.

While treat training may seem like a positive reinforcement method, it only serves as yet another mechanism for people to get what they want from their horses. This approach can compromise the authenticity of the relationship, creating a transactional dynamic where the horse performs acts for rewards rather than engaging in a genuine, empowered partnership. Positive reinforcement is exactly as it says “reinforcing” a behaviour that YOU want. It perpetuates the human desire for control rather than seeking truthful conversations. The intention in using the food is all about you getting what you want.

Things have changed significantly for me. One of the few pieces of tack I still use is a whip, but now with an entirely different intention—FOR my horses.

I use a whip for my horse's protection. When letting my horses out of their yards, I use a whip to prevent others from pushing into their space and making them panic, ensuring they get to leave calmly and safely. When I take friends to visit the herd in the paddock, I use a whip to ask the herd to give us space and wait their turn, allowing us to focus on the horse we’re engaging with. For the horse with us, this creates a safe, relaxed environment for meaningful interaction.

In training sessions, I no longer view my role as a traditional educator. Instead, I see myself as someone who empowers my horses to be their true selves. The concept of "training" to me now means bringing out the best in them. I actively seek their input. I actively seek their no’s. I focus on honouring their individuality. By using my decades of dressage experience, I suggest different movements to my horses, engaging in a conversation to see if they enjoy how those movements make them feel. The whip plays an important role in providing clarity in our communication. If I’m easier to understand, they feel more relaxed and able to respond. 

To me, the whip is not just an extension of my arm, as often described by trainers. It is a part of who I am, integrated so seamlessly into my movements that it becomes part of my physical expression. This requires considerable practice (best done without horses), to ensure it feels effortless and aligned with my intention of empowerment.

When I train, whether with or without a whip, it’s all about empowering my horses. The intention is entirely FOR them. It isn’t about me. This focus demands ongoing mindset work to keep my ego out of the arena. While I may not be 100% successful all the time, it remains my guiding principle. I never want my horses to perform for me; instead, I want them to move, learn, and thrive in ways that empower and liberate them. Watching them blossom and knowing that I’ve fostered that growth—it's the greatest joy in the world.

With all my love,

Paulette